As I was telling you, it's a vicious circle: people decide you are a freak and then get you these things. Then you go out wearing them. Then people point at you in the street, and friends ask you about your henbag rather than your life. and your freak score multiplies. And so it goes, spiralling.

But, on the other hand, if I hadn't been labelled as a freak, I wouldn't own this fab henbag. And what fun would life be, then?